Nicola Sturgeon has described the police investigation into SNP finances as "mental torture" in her forthcoming memoir. The former first minister of Scotland revealed she contemplated disappearing into the North Sea during the darkest period of her life.
In excerpts from her new book Frankly, published by The Times, Sturgeon opened up about her arrest and the investigation that followed her ex-husband's charges. She also discussed conflicted feelings over motherhood and addressed rumours about her sexuality.
'Worst day of my life'
Being arrested and questioned by police was the "worst day of my life", Sturgeon wrote. The investigation began after Peter Murrell, the former SNP chief executive and Sturgeon's ex-husband, was arrested in 2023 and later charged with embezzlement.
Police searched their home as part of an investigation into what happened to £660,000 of donations to the party. Colin Beattie and Sturgeon were also investigated but later exonerated.
Investigation felt like 'dystopian novel'
The arrests made Sturgeon feel like she "had fallen into the plot of a dystopian novel". She barely slept during the period leading up to her arrest and would wake with her stomach in knots.
Following her questioning on 11th June, she visited a friend in north-east Scotland for a week to escape media attention. "I spent hours, looking out across the North Sea. At first, I wanted to somehow disappear into its vastness," she wrote.
Two years of 'mental torture'
Sturgeon carried a sense of "dread and anxiety" for a year until April 2024, when Murrell was re-arrested and charged. She admitted being frightened about the investigation despite knowing she had "done nothing wrong".
"Being the subject of a high-profile criminal investigation for almost two years, especially having committed no crime, was like a form of mental torture," she wrote. She described an "overwhelming" sense of relief when told she would face no further action on 20th March 2025.
Personal revelations and rumours
The memoir also reveals Sturgeon's miscarriage in 2010, when she went to work in "constant agony", including attending a memorial event for the 40th anniversary of the Ibrox disaster. She addressed false rumours about a "torrid lesbian affair" with Catherine Colonna, the former French ambassador to the UK.
"Long-term relationships with men have accounted for more than 30 years of my life, but I have never considered sexuality, my own included, to be binary," she wrote. Sturgeon also mentioned passing her driving test at 53 as one of her proudest achievements during this difficult period.
Frankly by Nicola Sturgeon will be published on Thursday.
(PA) Note: This article has been edited with the help of Artificial Intelligence.
